Mundane Musings

He is RISEN!

He is risen INDEED!

Good Friday from Central Films on Vimeo.

One of my favoritest books ever is Ann VosKamp’s One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live FUlly Right Where You Are. It’s an honest look at how HARD it can be sometimes to be thankful in EVERY situation. And it rolls like poetry through the pages. At a time where everything was falling around me, it helped me to focus on giving thanks for even the hardest things. Because sometimes the hard things ARE the grace things.

And right now, things ARE good. Times like this it’s easy to count the blessings. Times like this it’s most important to write down the blessings so that you have something to remember when times DO get tough. So here are a few of the things I’m thankful for this week…

• Coffee. Duh.
• Boys who smell like sunshine after a morning in the yard.
• Babies who aren’t content unless they are tucked right under your chin. Next to you isn’t enough, they want to be heart to heart.
• Hard-working husbands.
• Church family who love deeply.
• Friends across the miles who lead a parallel life – who “get it” when you feel like you might go crazy from it all.
• Missionaries who risk life & limb – leaving family and friends behind – to share a Jesus so real to an unreached people.
• Tiny dancers who want to party every night before bed and clean up toys so there is enough room for them to all to dance together.
• SUMMER temperatures before winter is even ever over.
• Broken legs healed miraculously 2 weeks early.
• The doctor saying the words “Your cancer is – and I’m not supposed to use this word – healed.” Never far from my thoughts. I got off so easy and feel so blessed. Like I cheated in my cancer journey.
• Stepping on cheerios in the middle of the living room, and dining room and kitchen and wondering if I’ll ever find them ALL.
• Incredible peace that floods my soul that I know can’t be from anyone but Jesus.

Your turn! What are you thankful for? Do your own blog and come back and share it. Or just leave it in the comments!

Bob Newhart – STOP IT!

You know, it really is that simple.

I’ve seen some people I know making some really stupid mistakes lately. Choosing self destructive paths that just make me want to shake them. Christians helping others do things that are obviously against what they should be doing. In the past week – and this is WITHOUT being on FB – I’ve learned of people in my life or in the lives of people I love who:

• Are filing for divorce because “they fell out of love”
• struggle with an eating disorder
• have chosen to cheat on a spouse
• look at porn obsessively
• use food to comfort themselves even though it affects their health
• choose to live openly negative lives to the point no one wants to be around them
• gossip all. the. time.

I just want to stick my fingers in my ears sometimes and say STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

Stop your self-destructive ways. Start living for Jesus. It’s that simple. Take your eyes off yourself and meet Jesus. For those who don’t know him, who don’t want to know him, take your eyes off yourself and look at the people around you.

I had a discussion with someone via email the other day and they said, “But what about grace?”

Honestly? GRACE looks a lot like love. And LOVE is TRUTH. Sometimes the best way to extend grace to a person you love is to tell them to stop making stupid decisions. You’re not going to sit back and watch someone cut their arm off. You’re going to do what you can to stop them BEFORE they cut their arm off. You can still be there and help if they actually go through with it, but shouldn’t we at least be TRYING to stop them before they hurt themselves?

So, you’re struggling in some area where you need to stop. It sounds easy enough, but I know it’s a struggle. I’ve dealt with it myself. I’ve learned a few secrets that I want to share.

First, look for the positive intent. When people are hurting themselves or those they love, chances are they are acting in selfishness. It’s not that they want to hurt anyone, but they want to FIX something about themselves.

• A woman doesn’t binge & purge because she’s trying to kill herself. She does it because she wants to be beautiful and thin.
• A person doesn’t use alcohol & drugs to destroy their lives. He does it because he’s trying to escape pain.
• A man doesn’t cheat on his wife because he wants to throw away his marriage. He’s just trying to fill a void (whether emotional or sexual) in his own heart.
• A girl doesn’t cut herself because she wants to die. She does it for the emotional release that comes with a pain you can SEE and focus on instead of dealing with the hurt inside.

Those are just a few examples. But can you see that those people aren’t doing it because they WANT to mess up their lives. The fact is that their lives are already a mess and they need a way to fix them. They need a way to focus their energy so they aren’t constantly walking around in pain.

But hurting yourself is NEVER EVER EVER the answer. Living a life of self-destruction only leads to more self-destruction until your soul is so far gone that death is the only viable option.

So, how do you STOP IT?! It’s one thing to stop something, but when you stop it needs to be replaced by something else or it’s just going to come right back. And chances are it’s going to bring friends.

So instead of focusing on whatever it is that you’re dealing with, throw your hands up and say WHATEVER! Philippians 4:8 says, “whatever is TRUE, whatever is HONORABLE, whatever is JUST, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is COMMENDABLE, if there is any EXCELLENCE, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

It’s not something that comes naturally to most. That’s why Paul says to PRACTICE these things. Don’t just read them. Don’t just think about them. PRACTICE them! Throw your hands up in the air, surrender what you’re dealing with and practice the “whatevers.”

My mother is a pack-rat. (Sorry to out you on my blog mom). She likes to keep stuff. She’s very emotionally attached to the items she keeps. She’s not a hoarder, but she has a hard time letting go of items that have memories attached to them.

When I was growing up, we had an entire ROOM in our house dedicated to the “stuff” that she liked to keep. Boxes piled here and there (in fairness – we didn’t have a basement. It wasn’t any worse than the normal basement) because it was nice stuff. Stuff she didn’t really want anymore, but just couldn’t get rid of.

Until I wanted my own room. I have two younger sisters (one 2years younger than me, the other 10years younger than me) and we all shared a bedroom. I still remember the day she told me that we’d clean out the junk room so I could have my own room. I think I was 13 or 14 at the time and had never had my own room. I also remember her not wanting to do it and one day she was gone and I decided I’d had enough and went in and started cleaning it out on my own. Took my bed apart and moved it and my dresser through the house on my own. Rearranged it all so that I could get my bed and dresser in there. I piled boxes in the kitchen of all places and forced her to deal with the “junk”.

I realized this past year that my own life was like that. Not my house (although I’m ready to go through and purge things again), but my heart. Instead of dealing with my emotions, I’m a classic avoider. I like to take things and just lock them away and not really deal with them. If it’s going to make me cry or make me angry or hurt too much, I just lock it away. Put it in the “junk room” of my own heart.

But in the past year, I’ve realized that’s NOT healthy. It’s no way to live life because those things tend to spill out once in a while. They’ll jump out and bury you when you’re least expecting it. So, I brushed off my hands and dove into the messiness of the human heart. I gave all my junk to Jesus and let it go. Well, most of it.

You see, there were a few things that just hurt SO bad that I thought I’d never be able to let go. I kept begging Jesus to make it better. To take away the pain. I can remember crying out, “God, this thing, it hurts so bad. Why don’t you make it stop?”

I was gone for a weekend with Jesus. Surrounded by ladies that I barely knew. I asked God that question and suddenly I could see myself carrying my “baggage”. Telling Him the burden was too heavy. That I couldn’t do this. Asking Him to take it from me. And feeling all of this PAIN.

And He was there. Ready to take it from me. TRYING to take it from me. And I heard the voice of God (not audibly, but sometimes you just know that it’s God speaking) say, “THEN LET GO!”

You see, He wasn’t allowing me to be hurt. I was hurting myself. He was trying to take my baggage, my junk, but I wouldn’t let go of it. I wasn’t trying to take it back necessarily, but I wasn’t willing to let go of the handle either. I was willing to carry it WITH Him, but He wanted to carry it FOR me.

So, I let go.

And you know – sometimes that “thing” comes back. Sometimes I still catch a glimpse of it. Sometimes I remember the pain of carrying that weight. But then I remember that’s it’s too heavy to carry on my own. And I leave it in the hands of Jesus.

We’re getting into that time of year where our schedule takes off. It will be a little simpler this year with only two kids playing ball, but Birthday Month is upon us (all three boys and my own are within less than a months time – anyone want to guess when our anniversary is? ).

More than ever before, I’m craving order. A plan to follow. I’m a typical type A in that I like to plan the work and work the plan. And if I don’t plan the work, I don’t know where to start half the time.

So, in an effort to be more organized, I’m starting by menu planning again.

And this week has some good ones on it!

Monday – Sweet & Sour chicken. I’m trying a new recipe I found on Pinterest. My issue with most sweet and sour chicken recipes is that they have onions and peppers and pineapple. While the pineapples isn’t too bad (I don’t like warm pineapple so I just pick it out), only Noah and Emily like onions and peppers.

Tuesday – Spaghetti with meat sauce. I’m trying something here I haven’t done since high school. I’m going to make my own pasta sauce. We saw a recipe on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives for Donatelli’s Meat Sauce and we’re all eager to try it. If all goes well, I’ll never buy jarred sauce (which is just “eh”) again.

Wednesday – Biscuits and Gravy. Or as commonly referred to around here “BnG”.

Thursday – Pioneer Womans Ranch Style Chicken & crash hot potatoes. If you’ve never had this, make it. You will NOT be disappointed.

Friday – White Chicken Enchiladas. This is another Pioneer Woman recipe from her new cookbook. Elijah’s excited to try it because he doesn’t care for traditional enchiladas.

Saturday – Chicken & Noodles – made from scratch. People who make this, let me tell you a little secret. It’s not that hard. Please stop using that canned stuff. Bake & debone a chicken, make some chicken broth by boiling the bones and skin in water with some seasoning and then use it to make a thin gravy and mix it all together with egg noodles. It’s not that hard and so much better than anything you can get out of a can.

Sunday – C.O.R.N. This is a favorite of my kids because it gives them free reign on what to eat. It stands for Clean Out Refrigerator Night.

A lot of people hate Mondays. Honestly, my Tuesday’s feel more like Monday’s. But I like them anyway.

Why all the hate for Mondays? I don’t get it. Isn’t EVERY day a chance to celebrate? You know – simple things like waking up and breathing.

Speaking of celebrating – my birthday is two weeks from today. *hint, hint*

I’m not a morning person, but our sweet Emily is doing everything in her power to change that. But at least she’s sleeping through the night again. And new research shows coffee is GOOD for you. So bring on the mornings!

Speaking of Emily, since she was little bitty, she’s had issues digesting milk products. I’ve been praying for her healing. Because life is HARD when you can’t have any dairy. Last night, I accidentally ordered her milk to drink. And I decided to give it a shot. I remember praying in my head before giving it to her that her healing would be complete. She has had ZERO issues with it. I gave her another glass for breakfast this morning. Just kind of to see if it was a fluke. (Oh, me of little faith). She’s fine. I believe God has completed that healing. HELLO a whole new world of foods! God is good!

We’ve been watching a LOT of basketball this weekend.  My bracket isn’t completely busted, but it’s getting close. It’s going to be either Elijah or myself that wins the whole thing. I really hate losing.

Emily is doing well with her cast. Yesterday was the first time most people saw her with it. It was a lot of “Aw, poor baby” on their end, and her just looking at them like it was no big deal. Probably a good thing she’s still too young. I fear my older kids would make this situation work to their advantage. She took her first step/lunge last night without holding on since she broke her leg. So there is hope that she’ll take off walking once it’s off (April 11th).

She’s the oldest any of my kids were when they walked.  Elijah is the next in line – walking a day before he turned 14 months. Kait was the youngest. She was 9 months when she walked. She was running at 10 months. I still have nightmares about it.

We’ve got some interesting things on the horizon. Some are secret, so aren’t. Looking forward to going home to WI in May for my sister’s wedding. Looking forward to not having to worry about almost dying from my gall bladder when I there. (Was that really almost a year ago?!) It’s always great to go home and be able to see people all in one place for a HAPPY reason.

Speaking of happy reasons to celebrate – did I mention my birthday is two weeks from today?

Y’all might have noticed, but I talk about grace a lot. A LOT.

It’s because I believe in it. I’ve experienced it. I’ve given it. I try to walk it. I talk about it, but there are days that I don’t feel like being grace-filled.

Giving grace is NOT easy.

The natural reaction when someone wrongs us or hurts us is to go on the defense. To get even. To destroy them. It’s so much easier to just go on the attack. To let everyone know exactly how that person hurt you. To let them know what they did that was so wrong.

But that’s not good for anyone. Holding back forgiveness only leads to bitterness and hatred. Not forgiving is just letting that person who wronged you live in your head rent-free. It’s not hurting THEM, it’s hurting YOU. When you hold onto past situations, they don’t just hurt you when it originally happens, they hurt you over and over again every time you replay them in your mind.

Say this with me – “What’s done is done. I can’t change it. I have to accept it. I have to forgive and move on.”

Grace forgives the unforgivable. Grace holds our head above water when we feel like we’re drowning. Grace applies a healing balm to our hearts so that the rest of our life isn’t affected.

I have a friend who’s struggling with extending grace. She asked me the other day, “But what does grace LOOK like?”

Sometimes grace fixes a situation completely. Complete and total restoration of a relationship happens.

Sometimes grace means walking away from a relationship. Because grace doesn’t equal trust. Relationships are based on trust and if you’re never going to be able to trust the person again, sometimes you just have to walk away. It is NOT grace to stay in a relationship just so you can keep tabs on someone. It is NOT grace to stay in a relationship with someone you know you’ll never trust again. Sometimes grace let’s people go.

But grace also means being able to accept that YOU had a part in it all. Grace means accepting that if YOU can change, so can the other person. God is a powerful God and He’s in the business of healing hearts. That doesn’t mean just yours.

Grace is not just forgiving, but coming to a place where you can wish the other person WELL in their life. Where you want GOOD things to come onto them. (A grudge on the other hand wants to drop cartoon anvils on their head).

Grace is hard work. It’s not something automatic. It takes concentrated effort. Sometimes it means forgiving again and again until the scales can stay tipped in favor of grace.

I talk about grace because I don’t have it all figure out yet. I talk about grace because there are situations where I still have to remind myself that grace is the way Jesus wants me to talk – even when I don’t feel like it. I talk about grace because I want to walk out grace.

I talk about grace because I hope that people will extend GRACE to me while I’m still learning.

It’s been a long week of long nights. Emily has been waking up multiple times a night. But now we think we know why!

We took her to the pediatric orthopedic specialist yesterday. They pulled off her splint the hospital put on her only to discover that she had a blister from it rubbing against her foot. Poor girl!

She’s started doing this funny thing where she talks – A LOT – when she’s nervous. She gets so many questions behind her little eyes that my heart almost melts.

waiting for the dr...

Her leg is indeed broken. Right at the bottom of the front bone. So, she’s in a short cast for three weeks. They cut a hole in the back of her heel where the blister was and that alone seems to have stopped a lot of the fussing and whining about her leg. She’s sporting a purple cast for the next few weeks (comes off on Noah’s birthday) and other than not playing in a sandbox or a pool, she’s free to use it however she likes. She’s starting to put a little weight on it now that it’s in a proper cast and the dr said she should start testing it out soon to walk.

Emily and The Purple Cast...

Monday, Emily fell down the stairs. Like any good parent who has a dr for her kids, I called the drs office rather than clogging up the ER with an unnecessary patient. He had me bring her in and because she wasn’t howling in pain, we deduced it was likely just a sprain. I had been sure she’d broken it, but I had to agree with the dr that she seemed ok. She’s just so HAPPY. As in all the time. Unless you’re late with her food, then she’ll let you know who’s boss. She’s got this overflowing, bubbling joy that just oozes out of her.

He told me to give it a few days and see how she was doing. By Thursday, she wasn’t any better. Ok, she was. But she still wouldn’t put ANY weight on her left leg at all. However, she did figure out how to crawl with her foot in the air, use her knees for climbing and how to hop on one foot along the couch. Clever, that one is. But I knew something more than just a sprain was going on (ask my mom – between my sister and I, I think we sprained everything humanly possible while in high school). So, I called the dr and he sent an order for an xray.

This afternoon, he called me. Not a nurse, but the dr himself. Which is why I love her dr (he’s mine as well). This is the same dr who laid hands on us and prayed a blessing over us in the hospital. But he called to tell me her leg IS indeed broken. At the very bottom of the bone there is a small fracture. But it’s close the growth plate and he wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it, so he’s doing the smart thing and sending her to a pediatric specialist. Unfortunately, we found all of this out at 3:30 on a Friday. So her appointment is next Tuesday at 3:15. (Dr. Gabriel’s office in Springfield – anyone have any experience there?)

But, until then she needs her leg immobilized. So, we loaded up and took her to the ER to get a splint. Which is basically her leg in a cast – but with the cast only on the back of her leg and then wrapped with ace wraps and lots of tape.

Any my crazy girl?? She LOVES it! Like it’s some sort of fancy accessory. She sat so still and QUIET while they wrapped her up. Which was a stark contrast to her screaming in the drs office on Monday – even though she KNOWS those people. I really think it’s all the prayers that were going up on her behalf at the time. There was just a peace and calmness over her. And she’s not bothered by it at all. Actually, I think it may make it feel a bit better because she was happier than she’d been all week. Lots of squealing and jabbering as we ran errands after. And of course there were consolation cheese fries (her first experience – I think we may have ruined her for plain fries).

Now, if this splint would just help her sleep through the night again. It’s been a long week of her waking up 1, 2, 3 times a night.

But I’m remembering to cherish those times and the extra snuggles this week has brought. They won’t last forever, and I’m thankful for the quiet time together with her head laying on my heart and the peace and joy that it brings us both.